From "F-bomb You" To "F-balm You"
The F-bomb refers to the four-letter word that begins with the letter “f” and is commonly used by a person to express an undesirable reaction. For example, the feeling of anger, frustration, contempt, or heartbreak are some triggers that may cause a person to use the unfavorable term toward something or someone. Some people may feel the term is warranted at the point of being fed up with an improbable situation or a very controversial debate. In the past, I was quick to conclude several of my discussions with a piercing F-bomb you! I did not give my word selection a second thought because I believed that the expression was vital to my closing statement to avoid any confusion and potential reiteration.
From the age of 10 - 15, I lived in a home that was infested with physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. The constant cruelty caused me to harbor enormous shame and to develop a calloused heart. Since my years of suffering abuse were completely ignored, I grew into adulthood feeling polluted and worthless. My personal motto became F-bomb everybody because I decided that I needed to be an army of one to survive the many battles along my path. I was so emotionally fragmented, but I was also in so much denial at the same time that I self-medicated by being unforgiving and thoughtless. To me, my hardness and allegiance to dropping the F-bomb formed a wall of protection that prevented me from becoming vulnerable to more detriment in my life.
In 2012, I realized the depth of my brokenness while battling severe depression. After self-examination, I discovered that my long-term strategy for blocking my vulnerability had also been blocking my victory. My desire to reconnect with God guided my creation of L.I.V.E. as an acronym to represent Love, Invest, Victory, and Encourage. To start, I assigned Psalm 139:14 and 2 Corinthians 4:16 to the topic of Love and opened up to give God the opportunity to work through me. By way of forgiveness, God gave me a balm that delivered me from decades of emotional bondage and liberated my soul. The powerful experience inspired me to coin F-balm as an expression that meant forgive. I declared F-balm you and was overcome by the healing power of forgiveness. By shifting my allegiance to the F-balm, I demoted the victim and promoted the victor in me. Subsequently in 2015, I published my book titled “I Choose to L.I.V.E.” and provided key steps to support living life beyond a mask.
Trust me, the choice to harbor ill will toward another person will hinder you a lot more than you realize. While forgiveness may seem like an impossible assignment in some cases, forgiveness is essential to enable progression in all cases. You need to understand that you will encounter stagnation as long as you give painful feelings like hatred and bitterness permission to consume you. Therefore, you have to decide what and who will be permitted to have occupancy in your life. The F-balm is not about how to forget your pain ever existed, but the F-balm is about how to release you from residing in the trenches of your pain.
The L.I.V.E. Commitment is applicable to any man or woman because we all face challenging situations that are unsolicited or unfair. I understand all too well the anguish of a plight that appears to be a permanent and insurmountable obstacle. More importantly, I also know the amazing reward of liberation that comes from letting go and letting God. When you are ready to transition from a place of hurting to a place of healing, I encourage you to exercise the F-balm and experience the awesome move of God in your situation...L.I.V.E.
Be Blessed and L.I.V.E.!