OK, So What Now?

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Volume 10 - Issue 1 - Jun 2020

Dear <<First Name>>,

Welcome to the June newsletter from BWIS.

This month we look at coping with uncertainty, what to do when we don’t know what’s coming next.

Best wishes from Steve, Sue, Charlie, Martin.

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In This Issue
OK, So What Now?
News and Events
Inspiring Quotes
And Finally...

OK, So What Now?

Coronavirus divides our lives into before and after. A few months into lockdown and we’re all a bit weary, we’ve had to mute our emotional reactions and dial down anxiety to avoid feeling overwhelmed. But muting negative emotions also dampens down our experience of positive emotions, like exuberance, fun, joy.

Now we are having to adapt to the unsettling reality that there’s no known end-date, and the consequences of the pandemic may have changed life more permanently. There’s talk about the ‘new normal’ and what it might look like. But that assumes a certainty that just isn’t there. What we know is vastly outweighed by what we don’t yet know.

Trying to reduce uncertainty accounts for much of what we do in life. Rationally we know there’s no certainty except one day we will die, but that doesn’t stop us seeking as much as we can to make it manageable. Managing uncertainty uses up a lot of cognitive and emotional energy.

What saps resilience is not a big adjustment to a major crisis, but having to constantly adapt to small changes. As the restrictions are lifted, you have to make more and more micro-decisions about what’s safe or within the guidelines. These soak up cognitive and emotional resources. That’s why you feel fatigued although you may be doing less than you normally would.

So it’s not surprising that psychological wellbeing has taken a big hit. You’ve had a lot of time to think for the last two months. You’ve listened to birdsong, looked up at uncluttered skies, walked along quiet roads. You’ve thought about your life, your relationships and the fragility and preciousness of everything. That will stay in your mind, and in time will open new possibilities.

One of the most life-affirming research findings in psychology is ‘stress-related growth’. It shows that when people face a major crisis in their personal lives their functioning is immediately and negatively affected. But most of them not only survive, they get back to their previous level of functioning, even if their lives are different.

Many don’t just recover though, they keep going and reach a new level of optimal functioning. By reframing the crisis as a positive turning point, they see the adversity not as bad luck but as intrinsic to the personal growth that followed. They flourish not in spite of the setback, but because of it.

By re-constructing our narrative we can reposition the crisis not as an end, but as the beginning of something new - the opening act in a transformative and redemptive sequence.

(with acknowledgements to Dr Maureen Gaffney)

To explore what comes next for you, join us online at Life Lounge on June 11^th.

News and Events

NOTE - All BWIS events continue ONLINE

LIFE LOUNGE
6.30pm 2^nd Thurs each month. On Thurs 11 June it’s Surfing the Covid Era. People say they don’t want to return to ‘normal’. How about you? Come and explore with us. Book your place at The Life Lounge .

Coach Group
This monthly group is open to qualified coaches and those in training. Next is Mon 6^th July. Meet on Zoom for a 7.00 start, finish by 9.30. Book here, or contact Charlie with any questions.

EGym - 5 A Day Challenge
Drop into the EGym at 6.30pm each week, for some 'emotional keep-fit' in a supportive group. Next event Tues 9 June. This is a FREE event, but please register here and we will send you the link. Or contact Sue.

Mindfulness
The drop-in group continues weekly on Weds at 7.00pm. A mindfulness practice re-charging session. Contact Martin for information.

Couples Coaching
For two people in an intimate relationship who want to work together on resolving issues and improving communication. Sessions available online, more here. Contact Sue for info.

Inspiring Quotes

“We learn more in crisis than in comfort.” - Abhijit Naskar

"A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter when it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it." - Nikki Giovanni

"It is when we are in transition that we are most completely alive." - William Bridges

“If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.” - Maya Angelou

“Every day the clock resets. Your wins don't matter. Your failures don't matter. Don't stress on what was, fight for what could be. “ - Sean Higgins

And Finally ...

We all know there are things that we should be doing, but we are not doing.
If only someone would give us a nudge.

What's one little habit you'd like to develop, one little thing you want to do on a regular basis?

Consider yourself nudged. You're welcome :-)

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