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Volume 9 - Issue 4  - Apr 2019

Dear <<First Name>>,

Welcome to the April newsletter from Being Well in Suffolk.

Fear serves a real and important purpose, to keep us from harm. However, sometimes we have a distorted idea about what will cause us harm and allow fear to bully us into not trying things that might benefit us or enrich our lives.  This month, we discuss fear - when to listen to it and when to acknowledge it but keep going anyway.

Charlie, Martin, Phil, Steve and Sue
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In This Issue

Facing Down Your Fears

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

This quote is often reduced to platitudes like: Doing a scary thing every day helps you grow. The magic happens outside your comfort zone.  Maybe, but why? Fear serves a real and important purpose, to keep us from harm. So what’s the scientific case for doing things that scare us?

Fear is a bully. It tells you what to do, and when you obey it, it gains power. But when you acknowledge what fear tells you but do the opposite, you build courage.
We become more or less capable depending on prior experiences. People who have performed well in the past tend to believe the same will hold for the future, and approach difficult tasks as challenges to be mastered rather than as threats to be avoided.

Tim Ferriss in his TED talk: ‘Fear is an indicator. Sometimes it shows you what you shouldn’t do. More often it shows you exactly what you should do. The best and most enjoyable results I’ve had in life have all been from asking a simple question: What’s the worst that can happen?’

In ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’, Susan Jeffers recommends you think through the outcome that makes you most afraid, so that you can consider how you would deal with it were it to happen. Fear doesn’t ever really go away, nor should it. But confronting it is the way to move forward.

The most effective approach to reduce fear is to systematically expose yourself to the thing that scares you, starting small and building tolerance as you go. “Exposure is the most successful way to deal with phobias, anxiety disorders, and everyday fears,” says neuroscientist Philippe Goldin. “Simply repeatedly exposing ourselves to the thing we’re afraid of, in a positive way, gradually brings down the bodily fear response until it’s gone, or at least manageable.”

The challenge is to work out when to listen to fear, and when to ignore it. The more you listen to fear, the more power you give it. Luckily the opposite is true - the more you face fear down, the more control you have. 

You may have noticed this month's Life Lounge is about singing. Many us have a fear of singing in public but the evidence continues to stack up about its health-giving benefits. Why not come and play with your fears.....

News and Events

Everyone is welcome on 2nd Thursday of the month 7.00pm at Quay Place. Thurs 11 April will be an entertaining evening called Sing Yourself Well. Reserve your place online at The Life Lounge. 

Our renowned foundation course in Life Coaching Skills will run again in the Autumn. The first FREE taster event is on Mon 13 May at 7.00 – come and find out how learning coaching can change your life and work. 

Drop into the E.Gym at Quay Place Ipswich, 6.30pm first Weds of every month, and join us for some Emotional keep-fit.  See the E.Gym Meetup for details or contact Sue.  Next PSN training starts July 5th.

Inspiring Quotes

“The secret of life is this: when you hear the sound of the cannons, walk towards them.” – Marcel France

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” – Helen Keller

“A lot of the need to be productive is the terror of things falling apart.” – Judd Apatow

“An individual develops courage by doing courageous acts.” – Aristotle


And Finally ...

One little thing. Just do one little thing. The first one little thing is to get a piece of paper and write down ALL THE THINGS. Then eat ice cream or pie, for purposes of recovery. Then decide on the most pressing one of ALL THE THINGS, and do one little thing about it. 

Please pass on this newsletter to others who may be interested. Let us know if you'd like to be added to the mailing list or want your name to be removed.

Send all news, contributions and feedback to Steve. Thanks for reading!

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