The Art of Radical Self-care

Volume 9 - Issue 7 - Jul 2019

As someone raised by an expert people pleaser (writes Charlie), the idea of self-care was something I always found difficult. Was it really ever OK to put my needs before yours?
The conflict with my learned core values was so strong that for much of my early life I chose relationships and work that focused my attention away from myself. I deprived myself over and over in order to bring care, comfort and happiness to others - which although it brought me many layers of happiness, ultimately had a detrimental effect on my own well-being and physical health.

I have been healing from ‘people pleasing’ slowly over the last 20 years and with each new step I peel back yet another layer of me – enabling me to get closer to my true authentic self.
For many people self-care will mean many different things – pampering your body, creating space to relax, holding healthy personal boundaries, allowing in love, taking time to be with nature or animals, managing energy levels, speaking up, getting lots of sleep, planning regular holidays …

For me, self-care has moved into something central to my being, and is slowly underpinning all that I do and am about. The steps are gentle; the impact often profound. Today I deeply understand that in order to truly help others – which feels like my calling – then I first need to nourish and care for myself.

Over the last 3 months Sue and I have been ‘Mastering the art of Radical Self Care’ in preparation for our next Life Lounge evening. For us both the need is strong, but our experiences are quite different.

I have uncovered and healed from deep patterns that had me entrenched in old feelings and behaviours that kept me stuck and playing small in my own life. I realised that the subtle things often have the most impact. Despite historic relationships with people who wanted my attention and care focused on them, I have now surrounded myself with people who want only to see me nourished and fulfilled.

This reflective process has allowed me to see how much I have grown and changed over the years; also to become clearer about the next steps I want to take.

So whatever self-care means for you, we invite you to come along to The Life Lounge on 11th July. Gain some insight for yourself, take some time to reflect and choose to do more of what calms, helps or heals you, or to try something new.

Everyone is welcome to Life Lounge on the second Thurs each month 7.00pm at Quay Place. On Thurs 11 July Charlie and Sue will be exploring the Art of Radical Self care. Reserve your place online at The Life Lounge.

COACH TRAINING
Our renowned foundation course in Life Coaching Skills will run again in the Autumn. The next FREE taster event is on Mon 9 Sept - come and find out how learning coaching can change your life and work.

PEER SUPPORT

Drop into the E.Gym at Quay Place Ipswich, 6.30-7.30pm first Weds of every month, and join us for some Emotional keep-fit.Confirm via the Meetup link or email Sue.

“The love and attention you always thought you wanted from someone else, is the love and attention you first need to give to yourself.” Bryant McGill

"Those who think they have no time for exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness" Edward Stanley

“Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

“It’s good to do uncomfortable things. It’s weight training for life.” A nne LaMott

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” Etty Hillesum

“We have to care about our bodies and what we put in them. Women have to take the time to focus on our mental health — take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself.” Beyoncé

Michelle Obama

“Sometimes I give myself a break. So I will retreat a moment from the fray, just to breathe. Because what I’ve learned is that my immediate reaction cannot be the deciding reaction. So sometimes I just sort of step back a second, and while I’m stepping back, I talk. I reach out to my friends, my mom, my girlfriends; I vent, I release, I have sounding boards, I get pep talks from colleagues and staff, and then I go back in … We each have to find our own coping mechanisms — and this isn’t just in terms of the hesitation of finding our voice, but in how we deal with our own stress. It’s almost like sports. You have to learn how to play through a loss, play through pain, play through an embarrassing decision on the field. Maybe you get a time-out, you go on the sidelines, but you’re going to get back in.”

Dear <<First Name>>,

Welcome to the July newsletter from Being Well in Suffolk.

In This Issue

Mastering the Art of Radical Self Care

News and Events

Inspiring Quotes

And Finally ...