Nine Days of Survival || Day Four
Thanking God for His Plan
...In Your book they were all written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.
As I mentioned in Day Two of Nine Days of Survival, while I was carrying to term my two fatally diagnosed babies, I was in a constant battle to keep my mind from wandering into a place of real worry and anxiety over what was to come. But not necessarily the impending death of my sweet babies, although certainly that caused many tears, but rather the details; the pesky little details that threatened to further rob me of time with my babies if they did not work out perfectly.
I wanted so desperately to make the most of the short time I would have with both Evie and Charlie that it was so scary to think I could go into labor and Josh wouldn’t be there or my other child(ren) would not be there. Or what if a crazy emergency occurred and I wasn’t able to see my babies alive? These what-ifs plagued my spirit and threatened to send me into a downward spiraling frenzy.
It was in those times, when the threat of that downward spiral pulled at me like a strong ocean tide, that I had to stop and fill my mind once again with truth.
Psalm 139 talks about how God wrote each of our days at the beginning of time, before any of us had lived even one single day. In His sovereignty He carefully considered each one of us – our unique stories, His purpose for us, His intimate knowledge of our hearts’ deepest needs – and scripted these days. I took such comfort in those words.
If God had given such divine forethought to my story and Evie’s story and Charlie’s story, certainly that version would be the very best version that could exist. God in His perfection and infinite wisdom already wrote our stories; certainly I could trust Him and my soul could rest in what He had written.
So when I would become overly anxious and feel panicked over these details that I had little to no control over, I would pause and whisper a prayer of thanks to the God of the universe for what I knew He already had planned. I would thank Him for writing it and proclaim boldly that I would trust that whatever happened was the best that it could be and exactly how He wanted it to play out. And this often wasn’t just a “one and done” sort of scenario, but rather a continuous repeat of these truths to my God and to my soul until I felt peace.
Are you caught up in a flurry of worry over your future? Maybe the fact that you know you can’t control every aspect of your days has you feeling very anxious and unsettled. If that is the case, take the time right now to proclaim to the Lord that you trust Him completely and know that this God who is good and can call all of His works good (Psalm 119:68) has your best in mind and has already written all of your days. Rest in that sovereignty.
Lord we admit that only You know what is best for our lives. We acknowledge that even the painful parts that You have written into our stories hold purpose and will not be wasted in Your kingdom. Give us the courage to walk confidently in the days You have written for us. Thank you for tailor-making each one of our stories to fit each of Your unique, special, deeply-loved children. In Your Name, Amen.
Nine Days of Survival: