Sitting with a group of people recently—we were all challenged by the energy of one woman who kept bringing the conversation back to things she wanted to complain about.
This struck me as a powerful example of one of my favorite sayings, "Be responsible for the energy you bring into the room."
I sat back and felt the energy in the group fade and watched people look down or away, as she went on about how her son was getting bad grades and her husband never left the couch—he was so boring.
Then one brave soul, determined to stem the flow of negative words coming from this woman, offered a different way she could view her story about her son, and the woman's response was, "Oh no, you don't understand, he'll never be any better. He's always been this way."
Just writing this tightens my stomach—how is it for you reading it? Are you tempted to move on to something else? That's how we often feel when we hear or read words that diminish, criticize, complain—heavy, negative, energy-draining words.
In Doreen Virtue's book titled, Angel Words, there are graphs of the sound of spoken words—the visual image of the energy of the sounds. She stumbled upon this one day as she and her son Grant were recording a podcast—Grant being the sound engineer. On his screen, he noticed how the positive words registered with larger graph signatures and the negative words with smaller ones.
The visual image of these words illustrated the shift from high vibration, positive, mood-enhancing, energy to negative, low vibration, flat energy.
Angel Words, page 41
It's as simple as this—if you want to increase your energy right now, think positive thoughts, and say positive words.
What do you think?
Don't believe me? Here's how you can try it. During the rest of this day, notice how you talk. Are you saying words like can't, no, not, won't, don't, and other negative phrases? How's your attitude? Are you negative, worried, and unhappy, or are you choosing to be happy by using positive thoughts and words? How do you feel when you smile and say positive things? How do you feel when your expression is flat or grumpy, and you are saying negative, critical things?
I know that there are challenges in life—health issues, things with children, parents, spouse, and more. I also know that those things can be managed better when you use positive thoughts and words along the way. Everybody feels better as you navigate the challenge.
The woman I was listening to in the group was thinking that her son and husband were hopeless and that they were responsible for her unhappiness. She was spreading that unhappy energy over the group with the sound of her words, like a net. We were all having to choose not to get caught in that downward energy spiral, and that in itself is a significant energy drain.
Her negativity was no doubt keeping the people in her life stuck too! Can you imagine living with someone who thinks you're hopeless, or no good? Someone who's words and energy are keeping you trapped— like you're caught in a net.
Maybe you are in a situation like that—or perhaps you are creating a situation like that. Either way, unhappiness is all that can come from negativity. It's never a good way to be or to live.
I open the first section of my book with, "The basic rule in happiness is this: 'What you think is what you create.' Each thought you have creates a feeling. It's that simple."
If you're thinking, "This is all well and good, but how do I change the way I talk and think," let me suggest that the first step is to want to change.
Let’s start with this example of how to think a positive thought instead of a negative one—and practicing this consistently to see it increase your happiness.
- Imagine you are anticipating something difficult happening—maybe you’re thinking, “My throat is hurting, and I know I will be sick by tomorrow and home in bed. I have too much going on to be sick!"
- Or fill in the example with something that fits for you.
- Now change the words to think a new thought—"My throat feels a little off; I'm going to take some vitamin C and my natural remedies and sleep tonight. I'll be OK tomorrow."
Will you say yes to practicing this now? Maybe you already are, and this is a good reminder. Practice positive thoughts and words and see your happiness increase.
Here's to your happy thinking!
PS — 2020 countdown 6 weeks to go! How can that be, with Thanksgiving and Christmas still to see? Oh yes, it will appear, right after those happy reindeer! Keep breathing, and all will be well!