My January poster - Interrupt the Pattern
Nonviolence newsletter Nonviolence newsletter
Share Share
Forward Forward
Dear everyone

I have a habit of drawing a poster each month with the themes that are coming up in my life, with my longings, with my challenges, with needs that i want to call into focus and there are normally lots of plants that come to accompany me.

Here is my January 2022 poster. This month and this year, in fact, I want to interrupt the patterns that i have created that get in the way of flow; avoidance, lack of self-care, over work, fear and anxiety. When i am feeling a bit lost, confused, anxious or afraid, i am going to ask myself, how can i interrupt the pattern that is happening right now. It might mean, not picking up my phone, it might mean not going to eat something to fill a hole, it might mean sitting for a few moments and breathing, it might mean having a nap, it might mean noticing the energy i am in and refocussing onto what need i am longing to be resourcing myself with.

What patterns do you want to catch, notice and do differently?

Of course, i want to be doing this with compassion and even affection for the patterns and habits that come. If i can gently notice a pattern when it comes with a gentle 'Oh I'm feeling anxious and stuck right now' and to take a few breathes with that, before i call in a need, "i'd love a sense of openness and self-trust."  (This is the practice of self-empathy,see Sarah Ludford's offering below)

I do this in order to interrupt wider patterns that exclude or interrupt well being and to focus on this. What is happening with me on a micro level, is happening more widely in the world.  What pattern of exclusion or separation do i want to interrupt? Why are some people's lives full of hardship and their growth and potential for self-actualisation stunted?

I'm currently reading Rebecca Solnit's new book Orwell's Roses. In it she quotes Orwell noting "Our civilisation is founded on coal. It is only very rarely, when I make a definite mental effort, that i connect this coal with that far-off labour in the mines."  Solnit goes onto write "That invisibility or that obliviousness is one of the defining conditions of the modern world."

While we can make a 'definite mental effort' to connect with how the food on our plate got there, and also what the life is like and what the needs are of the people we witness in pain: those arguing for their life about some 'seemingly small' issue,, those fearful in the queues of governmental offices, those beyond stretched and racked with exhaustion, pain and grief..

Allowing space in our hearts for the parts of ourselves in pain or anxiety and anyone else in pain or anxiety is a soulful journey. This by itself interrupts the pattern of turning away from pain and exclusion.

Nonviolent Communication itself is a useful way of catching thought and feeling patterns of turning away from what is here in front of us, and using the huge resource of Needs to anchor and nourish ourselves with and inching or maybe catapulting ourselves into a needs-aligned world.

If you need a refresher, come along to my upcoming training next week.

Here are a few offerings coming up.

My next Foundation Training begins 10th January for 5 Monday evenings  STILL A FEW PLACES LEFT

I am currently considering a daytime (UK time) Foundation training, please get in touch if you would be interested in this.

If you have done a Foundation Training, you could do any Intermediate training, see here for full list of 2022 trainings

My next one is on 15th and 16th January 2022 on Transforming Conflict FULLY BOOKED, WAITING LIST ONLY

Self compassion in the time of winter with Sarah Ludford begins 24th Jan for 6 weeks


Understanding whiteness study group beginning Sunday 30th January

We will continue to co-hold a journey of Understanding Whiteness in relation to our NVC practice exploring these books:
  • Janet E Helms (2020) A Race is a Nice Thing to Have A Guide to Being a White Person or Understanding the White Persons in Your Life 3rd edition San Diego:Cognella
  •   Emma Dabiri (2021) What White People Can Do Next From Allyship to Coalition  Penguin Random House UK
This will be a 6 month series of sessions to study and apply explorations to our own contexts. This for those already committed to a path of nonviolent consciousness. Get in touch if you wonder if this might be for you.

Here are all upcoming trainings with the London trainers, still online at present.

And here are all upcoming trainings with trainers around the UK most of which are still on line

One to one support

I work on a one to one basis in person and online. You can learn NVC, have space for grief and challenges in your life, increase empathic resonance and learn conflict transformation skills in these sessions. Email me  I am currently full but if you want to let me know you want support, I will get back to you when i have space.

Do keep sending in your feedback and comments on this newsletter. I love having connection with you.

If this newsletter has been forwarded to you and you want to sign up,
please click here.

with warmth





Transforming Conflict
15th and 16th January

This session will enable you to:feel more confident to communicate in conflict situations without blame, shame or judgement.





Conflict Transformation Weave Fundraiser

You can contribute to our ‘Creating resilient relationships and a vibrant world’ fundraiser HERE



ONGOING: Empathic Coaching

I can support you with conflict, grief, creativity and more.

Copyright © 2018 All rights reserved.

My mailing address is:

Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.


This email was sent to <<Email Address>>
why did I get this?    unsubscribe from this list    update subscription preferences
We are made to be accompanied · Flat 16 Myatts field court · 18 Mcdowall road · Southwark, London se5 9js · United Kingdom

Email Marketing Powered by Mailchimp