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May 2018

Grieving on Mother's Day


The bond between a mother and a child is like no other.  It is beautiful, strong and generally unconditional.  A mother knows her child before anyone else can.  She feels her child's presence inside her, carries and nurtures her child, is the first to feel her baby move.  That being said, it is no wonder that so many people experience a high level of grief on and around Mother's Day.  Whether you are an adult child of a mother who has passed away, a mother who has one or more kid who is no longer living, or a person who is in a mother-child relationship that is broken, one-sided or unhealthy, there are a number of reasons that you could be grieving.  And while you not alone if you are grieving at this time of year, that is little consolation when it comes to missing your mother or child.

In the first article this month, we hear from a daughter who shares five things that she would tell her mother if she had another chance.  The second article is from the perspective of a daughter whose mom died while the daughter was pregnant.  She discusses how her mother's death affects the way she parents years later.  In the final article, a father talks about the gift that his children received on the first Mother's Day following their mother's death.  It is a beautiful idea for anyone who is a friend or family member of someone, child or adult, that is grieving.

5 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Mom


by Emma Heirendt 

On August 13th, 2017 I lost my best friend. She passed away unexpectedly and I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. If I could have another day with my mom, this is what I’d tell her: 

You are my best friend

We loved to shop together, didn’t we? We would hit up all of the sales and use every coupon in your purse. “We did good today,” you’d say as you threw our bags in the trunk. We’d get home and do a fashion show, making the hallway our runway. We would ask Dad for his opinion, he’d nod and say, “Nice,” for every item. You’d roll your eyes and shrug. We shopped for us, not for our men. When I was having a bad day we’d go to the mall and try on hats. You always said hats weren’t your thing because you had, “sticky-outty ears, just like Grandpa.” I quickly realized you were just letting me wear the cute ones while you put on the goofy ones. You would do anything to cheer me up.

You are beautiful

Inside and out. I was in 1st grade, getting ready for picture day, and I told Dad that I was self-conscious of the gap between my teeth. I was practicing my best closed-mouth smile in the mirror when Dad tickled me and said, “You are your most beautiful self when you laugh.” Mom, when you laughed you lit up the entire room. I did everything I could to make you laugh and smile because that alone made my day.

Thank you

As the youngest child, I must’ve asked you a million times to play barbies or go to the park with me and not once did you say no.   Read More...

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Love You Forever 


"I'll love you forever
I'll like you for always
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."

A story of unconditional love that has touched millions.


Shop Here for Hardcover 
and And Here for Paperback

 

You are the Mother of All Mothers

There are few books that address the weight of guilt and shame that a grieving mother carries with her after the loss of her child. The deep feeling of failure that accompanies child loss can be heart, mind and soul crippling. Reengaging in life after loss and attempting to find a sliver of hope again is an on-going battle-- one no bereaved mother should travel alone. No matter the age or cause of death, no matter the story, this book is for you, sweet mama.   Shop Here...

Lessons My Mother Never Taught Me


by Eleanor Haley

I’m writing this post from my front porch where I’m watching my almost nine-year-old daughter, Evelyn, teach my six-year-old daughter, Virginia to ride a bike. This afternoon has been all bad moods and tears, so it’s surprising to see them working towards a common goal. Even when this undertaking is handled by adults it has the capacity to bring all frustrated and bruised kneed parties to tears; yet there they are, teacher and student, laughing, motivating, trusting.  I have to say, this moment is 90% perfect.

The other 10% of this moment is filled with misgivings. There’s a part of me that feels negligent, as though I’m shirking my parental responsibility. Why did Virginia have to wait for Evelyn to teach her to ride her bike? Now when she looks back on this moment she’ll wonder to herself, “Why did Evelyn teach me to ride a bike?  Oh, I remember, because my mother never bothered.”

Mothers have a reputation for being self-critical and, clearly, I’m no exception. Although I’m 90% confident I’m a good mother, I’m 10% confident I’m going to screw up my kids. It’s the 10% of me that lies awake at night counting all the times I told Evelyn I’d play a game with her “in five minutes” and then secretly hoped she’d forget. Sometimes I go so far as to worry about my future failures, thinking I’ll undoubtedly botch my daughter’s teenage years and turn them into insecure, neurotic, directionless adults. This sets off a tailspin that naturally leads me to consider all potential ‘worst-case-scenarios’, and ends with me waking up my husband.
 

“Hey…Matt…are you awake?  

He is…I’m a terrible whisperer.  I realize he’s trying to sleep, so I get right to the point…

“If I die, you have to promise me you won’t marry someone awful. Whoever comes next, you have to make sure she will teach the girls the exact same things I would… okay?… Matt?… Are you awake?” 
 
His silence tells me he’s either fallen back asleep or he’s decided not to feed into my panic cycle.

Are my worries unreasonable?  Maybe, but those of you with dead mothers can at least understand where I’m coming from. Honestly, I think it’s far more rational for me to worry about the things I may never have a chance to teach my daughters than it is for me to angst about the missed minutia of days passed.   Read More...

 

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Remembering Heart

Two beautiful handcrafted ceramic hearts in one. When separated, the tiny inner heart can be placed with the loved one who has died as a reminder of their unbroken connection to those who remain behind. The outer heart is kept by the bereaved and can be worn on a necklace, acknowledging their grief.   Shop Here...
 

Feeling Heart Necklace

Our popular Feeling Hearts are now available as necklaces, allowing you to put your heart on display for others to see. Each heart is handmade, and no two are exactly the same.   Shop Here...
 

Stories about a fabulous Mom


by Tim Overdiek

SUNDAY, May 9 – Dear Jennifer, Happy Mother’s Day!

Today your children received a collection entitled Memories, short stories from your many friends, varying from your first days in Kindergarten to the Maryland suburbs, from high school to London, from college to your final days in Amsterdam. Memories of you that will be part of them, until they have children of their own and will be able to tell them about their grandmother.

This morning I’m crying because I miss you so much and because you were – and still are – a good mother. I see you in everything the children do right – and sometimes wrong. Your wisdom, your love, your principles, your annoying habits, and your warmth. But above all, your unconditional maternal love. That is what we celebrate today.

Quietly, in our thoughts, but also exuberantly.

I think of you and recall our discussions on parenthood and raising children, about the way our parents brought up their children, and how we were inspired by them or just the opposite. I remember how you resolved to be there for Sander and Eamonn one hundred percent in those early years. ‘Because this is the period when a child is formed and you can never do it over again.’

I often told you how fabulous you were as a mother. You just laughed and graciously accepted the compliment, but added that you ‘could have done better’. You spoke of the difficult years in Washington DC when, after the birth of Eamonn, you suffered from depressions and got through the days and nights mainly on ‘auto-pilot’.

Dear Jenn, that was the steadfast devotion you never went back on. Even in periods of weakness, you were still unbelievably strong.   Read More...

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I Think of You Every Day

We may not always know the right thing to say or the right thing to do when the people we care about are hurting. Sometimes the greatest gift in difficult times is letting them know we are thinking of them and that we love them. This book encourages us to reach out to those who are hurting. Whether it is death, divorce, bullying or illness, anyone can face tough situations and need affirmation that they are thought of and loved amongst it all. We don’t need to say or do anything extraordinary…we just need to be ourselves and be there for them.   Shop Here...
 

As Long As You Need Me

The story of a gift of love that travels through three generations. A teddy bear, given by an aunt to her niece, becomes a symbol of friendship, love and memories. Join in Bear's journey, knowing your family can take a similar trip when you pack a bear full of love.   Shop Here...
 

Quote of the Month

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.   Abraham Lincoln

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