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It's Time to Bury the Word

by Don Kilhefner
 (Monday, December 12, 2016)

Don Kilhefner

With the blood from the massacre in Orlando barely dry, let me strongly state that the word 
“homophobia” is wimpy, a misnomer, and needs to be retired. When it was introduced in 1969, the new word had a modicum of relevance. It quickly became the word to explain gay oppression, but no longer. Gay people are more awake now.

The word “phobia,” meaning “fear,” belongs to the lexicon of clinical psychology, not sociopolitical discourse regarding social privilege and societal change. The word “homophobia” trivializes and obfuscates what is really happening to gay people in the United States and globally now and historically. It says nothing about the source of a system that breeds gay and lesbian genocide.

I suggest “homophobia” be replaced by the words “the ideology of heterosexual supremacy,” a mouthful for sure, in all its permutations, “hetero supremacy” for short. Since every ideology is actualized by having actual practices attached to it, let’s call the practices “gay hate,” “gay behavioral cleansing” and “gay genocide.”

Let me ask you this: Was Hitler’s “Final Solution” caused by a Jewishphobia or was it based, in part, on an ideology of Aryan supremacy having superior and inferior races, with open hunting season on the inferior ones?

The term “homophobia” was first coined by Dr. George Weinberg, a psychologist, in the American porn magazine Screw in 1969 and amplified in his “Society and the Healthy Homosexual” in 1972. “Homophobia” describes an internal emotional state–fear of homosexuality. It says absolutely nothing about the dominant, systemic intellectual, religious and cultural superstructure in society that supports and makes possible horrific acts of violence against gay people and their community.

Let me give you a few contemporary examples. You tell me if they are phobias or whether there is a critical necessity for a more intellectually honest, reality-based word.

Today the Catholic church teaches globally that homosexuality is an “objective moral disorder” and all those who practice it will burn in Hell for all eternity. Does this sound like a simple phobia, only requiring Pope Francis to commence cognitive-behavioral therapy to cure? Or does it sound remarkably like the hate language that’s a prelude to behavioral cleansing? Is there any difference between the Church’s “objective moral disorder” (gays are unnatural and inferior) and ISIS’ teaching of fitrah, “natural human disposition” (gays are unnatural and inferior)? Both define “nature” and “natural” exclusively from a position of heterosexual power in heterosexual terms. Both define gay people as in violation of heterosexually derived and defined “laws of nature,” unnatural freaks permitting intellectual genocide (the Church) and physical genocide (ISIS) against gay people. It’s what John Adams was getting at in 1788 when he first used the phrase “the tyranny of the majority.”

These religious ideologies of heterosexual superiority have always had consequences for gay people–gruesome death, like the Orlando Massacre.
The phrase “death by stoning” is accomplished by having a gay man dig a hole in which he is buried up to his shoulders with only his head and shoulders showing. Then rocks and pieces of concrete are forcefully hurled at his head, crushing it.

In Iran and Saudi Arabia the ayatollahs and mullahs approve of gay men involuntarily being forced to undergo sex reassignment surgery. Their medieval binary-reasoning is that if gay men want to have sex with men like women do, we’ll make them women.

There have been reports from Iraq that vigilante groups capture gay men, sew their anus shut and then force-feed them large quantities of laxatives. Writhing in beyond-severe pain, their gastro-intestinal tracts explode.

In Libya and other places, militias tie up gay men, take them to the roof of very tall buildings and throw them off. If they are not dead when they hit ground, a group at the bottom stones them to death.

In Uganda newspapers called for the death of all gays and lesbians. As a public service, they even provided names and addresses. At night someone broke into the home of beautiful David Kato, a young man central to Uganda’s fledgling gay liberation movement and referred to as the first openly gay man in Uganda. His brains were beaten out with a hammer as he slept.

In Bangladesh recently, Xulhaz Mannan, the vocal and visible editor of Roopbaan, the only gay magazine there, was hacked to death with a machete by Al Queda fundamentalists.

Is the best descriptor of these acts of heinous savagery the word “homophobia?” Historically, the list of religion-sponsored and state-sponsored genocide against gay people, based on the unexamined assumption of hetero superiority, goes on and on, century after century century, all over the world.



A few weeks ago I forwarded to you an opinion essay by me published by The Gay and Lesbian Review Global about how wimpy and inappropriate the word "homophobia" is in describing gay oppression.  

Due to space limitations the original was reduced considerably and important documentation had to be omitted, like David Kato's murder.  It was like reading "Kilhefner Lite" 
Hank Scott, the publisher of, has sent out the essay in-full and I highly recommend you read it, if for no other reason than to honor the spirit of David Kato, a heroic gay warrior.

As I have often written, it is incomprehensible and baffling that gay men are not angry
at the violence directed against them globally and locally. Even Gautama Buddha, in his "Pali Discourses," said that sometimes anger is dharmic, exactly what the situation naturally calls for.

In these times, a self-absorbed, vacuous, and unengaged gay person is a liability to the community.

Once there were gay warriors. Where are those warriors now? A tribal 
elder's call goes out.
You are critically-needed again.

Here's what readers had to say about the essay.

Oy Vey wrote:

"Dr. Kilhefner's argument of changing the lexicon of hate against homosexuals is one of the more powerfully articulated "reframing the issue" theses I've ever read.  Its simple yet on-point identification of the motivation around gay-hate and likening those sentiments against other attempts of obliterating minorities is devastating in his conclusion but is immediately recognizable for being what it really is--another attempted genocide. I was stunned reading it. This opinion piece deserves to run in the NYTimes, Washington Post and every other journal of
enlightened thought which currently exists (and while they still exist, may I say....).

John McHugh-Dennis wrote: "Loved your piece on recent oppression and torture/killings. Hetero supremacy is an apt description."

Great Great Uncle Walt Whitman sings for you, 

"I sing the body electric, 
 The armies of those love

      engirth me and I engirth 
 They will not let me off til 
      I go with them, respond,

      to them, 
 And discorrupt them, and 
      charge them full 
      with the charge 
      of the soul."

         Whitmans photo by
            Thomas Eakins

And Uncle Walt Also Urges You On,

"Dear camerado! I confess 
      I have urged you onward 

      with me, 
      and still urge you,

      the least idea what our 

 Or whether we shall be

      or utterly quell'd and

As I Lay My Head In Your Lap Camerado

You have my permission to reprint or resend this mailing
Be sure to attribute it to

Indeed, it is respectfully requested that you do reprint and/or resend to any age group, particularly to young people. They need their gay vitamins.

In the name of solidarity, not conformity, we are
monumentally-called upon to work as a team at this moment in gay and lesbian history. 

Animae Communitatis Colendae Gratia
(For the sake of tending to the soul of the community)
Copyright © 2017 Don Kilhefner, Ph.D. 

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